my own life

i have had a lot of motivation for some more photography lately. yet i still haven't fulfilled that aspiration.
i wish i had an amazing camera and an unlimited supply of memory cards; that's all i'd need. i'd go anywhere, travel far and wide, just to take pictures 24/7. i'd never go home and i'd never get bored. photography is my passion, and i honestly can't wait until my last year of high school is over and i'm on my way to college... to focus on learning everything about my passion and then escaping into my own life. one that is all mine and one i can do whatever i want with. i wanna be successful and say that i've actually done something with my life. i wanna surround myself with those that inspire me and those that i love. i wanna make something of myself and love what i do. i don't ever wanna say i hate my job or regret anything. and i don't wanna be like my parents and walk in their footsteps. i think i'm proud to say that i've went through some things in my life, so i could learn and determine what i truly want in MY OWN, soon-to-be adult life; so i can know what's right and wrong and what can ruin my future... so i can't ever question my motives or have any doubt. i wanna keep this motivation and fight for my happiness.

so that i can make the best of my one-and-only, short amount of lifetime.

i am, by far, ready to start MY own life, and follow my dreams.

this picture is of Greece btw; one of the many places i hope to "photograph" one of these days.

senior year

school started a couple weeks ago and it's going pretty good. yes, i started at a new school...again! that's a new school every year of my high school career. lol but it's okay, it allows me to "know" lots of people. ;p
anyways, i already had to write a poem in english, so i figured i'd share it with y'all(:

Where I’m From

I am from softballs,
from Dudley and Worth.
I am from the grease on the garage floor.
(Chrome, rustic, like an automobile junkyard.)
I am from the walnut tree,
the almond blossoms.
Those long, never-ending rows of my childhood summers.

I am from late night card games and blue eyes,
from Mimi and Poppy.
I am from the can-do-attitudes and the know-it-alls,
from set the table and clear your plate.
I am from He is my Holy Savior,
from Sunday service, overpowering worship.

I’m from Nor Cal and Italian blood,
from homemade rigatoni and sweet tea.
From the dinner table with all the talks about family in the Mafia,
to me actually believing it.
On the top shelf of my dresser is a dusty container,
completely stuffed full of random photos,
a timeline of forgotten faces.
I am from those memories, left behind,
the early stages of my childhood.

anyways, hope everyone else's school year is kickin off with a great start!

"But you are chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light."
1 Peter 2:9

after the BarlowGirl acoustic worship concert, i bought a poster with this verse on it, and i also had BarlowGirl sign it! this was also the same verse that Lauren Barlow read aloud to everyone toward the end of the show. with this verse, she explained that we shouldn't be wishing and waiting around for change in the world, waiting for someone to come along and do something; instead we should be that someone. we should go out into the world and become someone; MAKE HISTORY! God wanted this generation to be the generation for change!
BarlowGirl wrote a song about this, and it's called Million Voices:

Tell me who’d have thought that we would be so controversial
And stand up against the normal
Are we too outspoken, loud, and messing up the comfortable
Well we’ve been messed up also
Yeah, yeah

But how can we be silent
When a fire burns inside of us

Chorus :
‘Cause we’re a million strong and getting stronger still
They’ll remember we here
With a million voices breaking silence till
They’ll remember we were here

We were made to start the riot, take on the impossible
And we will slay the giants
We are done with fake religion
fighting now to find the movement
Won’t stop till we find it

How can we be silent
When a fire burns inside of us

Chorus :
‘Cause we’re a million strong and getting stronger still
They’ll remember we here
With a million voices breaking silence till
They’ll remember we were here

We’re a million strong and getting stronger still
They’ll remember we were here
With a million voices breaking silence till
They’ll remember we were here

Chorus :
‘Cause we’re a million strong and getting stronger still
They’ll remember we here
With a million voices breaking silence till

They’ll remember we were here

They’ll remember we were here

You will remember
Yes you’ll remember

You will remember
Yes you’ll remember

BarlowGirl

On Thursday, the girls of my youth group (which consisted of all 6 of us;p) went to a BarlowGirl Acoustic Worship Concert at a big church in Redding. and they were amazing! i didn't really know who they were before i went, but i seriously fell in love with them! they're a christian band and they're so inspirational and beautiful. their voices are amazing! anyways, i learned so much from them that night and i'm forever grateful! i highly reccommend that you check them out(: BarlowGirl.com myspace.com/barlowgirl



"I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. i believe in love even when i don't feel it. and i believe in God even when He is silent."

17

today is my birthday; so i figured that gives me a pretty legit reason to post another blog. i'll be 17 years old at 1:54pm. i don't feel any different, just blah. maybe it's because i'm trying to get through each day with a crushed heart and questioning uncertain motives... ehh, whatever. i have to get over it, it wasn't meant to happen; i just wish this all didn't have to happen right now, around this very day.
so i'll try to make the best of today, even if nothing special is going on. i've decided that i'm gonna focus on my dieting and exercise, getting a job, loving the Lord, friends and family, and soon-school. no boys. i'm done for a while, i need to heal before i set myself up for another disappointment.